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Your Porn’s Not Canadian Enough, Gov’t Regulators Warn X-Rated Cable Channels

CRTC headquarters (Wikipedia)

CRTC headquarters (Wikipedia)

Canadian broadcast regulators would like to see more Vancouver vixens, Regina vaginas, Montréal MILFs and Banff barebackers on the nation’s X-rated cable channels.

Americans often accuse Canadians of suffering from something of an inferiority complex vis-à-vis their bigger, brasher neighbor to the South. They point to laws and regulations such as those established by the Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) mandating a majority of on-air programming must be of Canadian origin, measures enacted to protect and promote Canadian content and culture, as proof. While its US counterpart, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) obsesses over wardrobe malfunctions and Miley Cyrus, CRTC spends taxpayers’ hard-earned money focusing on what really matters to Canadians, namely, keepin’ it real (Canadian, that is).

To that end, CRTC has warned a trio of X-rated cable channels, AOV Adult Movie Channel, AOV XXX Action Clips and AOV Maleflixxx, that they may not be airing enough Canadian content. Under existing rules, 35 percent of the pornographic content appearing on these channels must be of Canadian origin.

All joking aside for a moment, there’s also the issue of closed-captioning for the hearing impaired and audio description for the blind, both of which are mandated under CRTC regulations. The agency says that the adult channels in question may also be in violation of closed-captioning rules. Channel Zero, the parent corporation of the three cited channels, acknowledged that it does not “currently air any programming that would require Audio Description.”

While observers from South of the Border might wonder why Canada’s government would seem to be promoting pornography by mandating minimum Canadian television content, some Canadians point to the nation’s robust pornographic industry and shrug. Plenty of porn enjoyed in homes, offices and seedy theaters across America originates in Canada– major industry players Brazzers and Mile High Media are both based in Montréal. Canada’s National Post reported that “industry boosters claim the city’s production of X-rated videos is rivaled only by Los Angeles and Amsterdam.”

There’s even the CRTC-approved, Montréal-based Vanessa channel, which bills itself as “the only 100 percent Canadian adult entertainment channel.”

It appears as if there’s plenty of home-grown talent to warm the loins of Canadian porn consumers through those interminable northern winters. But CRTC finds fault with AOV Adult Movie Channel for airing only nine daily “Canadian Quickies,” each one only an hour long. That’s better than AOV XXX Action Clips, which specializes in even shorter 5-20 minute clips and, while managing to exceed the 35 percent Canadian content threshold, was still scolded for failing to offer enough domestic smut during evening hours.

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One Comment

  1. Pogue MahoneJune 15, 2014 at 7:11 amReply

    Quick! Pour some maple syrup on them hoes!!

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