US Launches Secret Spy Satellite Emblazoned with ‘Evil Octopus’ Strangling the World
If you’re hell-bent on controlling the world and keeping eyes and ears on everything that goes on in it, you might as well own it.
And that’s exactly what the National Reconnaissance Office (NRO) has done by slapping a giant mission logo featuring a menacing octopus wrapping the earth in its omnipotent tentacles on its latest secret spy satellite.
There’s a certain psychotic swagger to the ‘evil octopus’ patch on the Atlas V rocket that launched NROL-39, the NROs newest spy satellite, into orbit last week. And NROL-39’s motto, printed below the terrifyingly tentacled cephalopod– “NOTHING IS BEYOND OUR REACH”– only adds to the ‘you-can’t-make-this-shit-up’ arrogance and insensitivity of the whole affair. Not only is the United States watching the world, it’s got its fearsome tentacles wrapped right around it. And woe unto anyone who dares challenge Uncle Sam’s supremacy.
At least whoever designed the patch took care to leave Europe and US allies in the Middle East free from the clutches of the octopus’ tentacles, one of which is draped ominously across a vast swathe of Eurasian adversaries including China, North Korea, Russia and Iran. Coincidence? Methinks not.
Talk about bad timing– with the National Security Agency (NSA) already under intense international fire for snooping on billions of phone and electronic communications, including those of friendly world leaders, the Pope and even World Of Warcraft-playing computer geeks, you’d think the good folks running the NRO would have come up with something different to adorn their toy with.
Or at least keep the launch of a secret spy satellite, well, a little more secret.