Moral Low Ground


‘Miracle’ Fresno Tree ‘Weeping Tears of God’ Is Really Just Dripping Bug Poop

and Jesus wept

(Photo: BJ Bumgarner)

A small but growing group of devout Christians believes that a clear liquid dripping from a myrtle tree outside a central California cathedral are ‘miracle tears of God.’

CBS 47 reports Catholics have flocked to a crape myrtle outside St. John’s Cathedral in Fresno, some of them believing that the tree responds to their prayers to Christian deity figures such as ‘God’ and Jesus Christ by ‘weeping.’

“When you say, ‘Glory be to God in Jesus’ name,’ the tree starts throwing out more water,” Maria Ybarra told CBS 47.

Desperate individuals have visited the tree in the hope that their ‘God’ will deliver personal miracles.

“I said my prayer and asked for [‘God’] to give me a miracle because I’m really, really sick,” Rosemarie Navarro said from her wheelchair.

But there is a far more likely– and far less ‘miraculous’– explanation for the ‘tears’ being shed by the myrtle tree: bug poop.

Jon Reelhorn, an arborist, told CBS 47 that aphids, small sap-sucking insects, have been excreting the ‘miracle tears’ out their backsides.

“The aphids will suck the sap, the sap goes through the aphid,” Reelhorn explained. “And then it is a honey dew excrement from the aphid, and it gets so heavy in the summer that it will drip down.”

Reelhorn said he knows where there is another ‘weeping’ tree across the street from the first.

Scientific explanation aside, Ybarra, who was the first to feel the ‘divine’ drops last week, told CBS 47 that “it’s the work of God manifesting here on earth.”

This isn’t the first time a ‘miracle’ has materialized from an animal’s anus. In February, an Ohio man swore he saw Jesus Christ in the form of bird droppings on his car’s windshield. A ‘bleeding Virgin Mary’ statue in Louisiana was also attributed to avian excrement.

And in 2011, an eagle-eyed observer ‘found Jesus’ in this pug’s asshole.

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One Comment

  1. RezAugust 13, 2013 at 4:16 pmReply

    Yeah, if I were a god over modern humanity, this would be the extent of my interaction with it. And lo, I did… grin.

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