12-Foot-Tall Rhode Island Snow Penis Raises Eyebrows and Ire
If life throws you a giant snowstorm, make a giant snow penis. That seems to be the mindset of a teenager from one Rhode Island town who, ahem, erected a phallic snow sculpture in the wake of super-blizzard Nemo.
The Providence Journal reports that the larger-than-life snow penis was built in the town of South Kingstown, 30 miles (48 km) south of Providence, where it stood proud and tall on Middlebridge Road until the inevitable complaints led to its demise.
The Huffington Post reports that the artiste with the balls to build the towering snow penis is 16-year-old Ryan Worthington. Worthington’s mother told the Huffington Post that dozens of people have showed up to snap photos next to the sculpture.
“[Ryan] put it there as a joke so I’d see it when I went to work,” 41-year-old Raylene Worthington said. “I laughed my ass off.”
South Kingstown Police Lt. Michael Natale told the Journal that police had received two complaints about the sculpture, but they allowed the penis to remain standing out of respect for free speech and private property rights. Hooray for the Constitution.
Neighbor Bob Trager, who claims to have never seen the giant penis, told the Journal that although he wouldn’t let his children build such a sculpture, he was not offended by it.
“Everybody has a right to do whatever they want in their property,” Trager opined. “There’s worse things going on in the world.” Trager added that his wife was put off by the sculpture, “but not… to the point of making a stink.”
A Facebook page has been created to honor what is now South Kingstown’s most famous landmark.
Alas, the snow boner of South Kingstown is no more. The Huffington Post reports that it was demolished by Raylene due to all the traffic and outage it caused.
“It’s just a big pair of balls now,” she said. She also dismisses all the naysayers who were offended by the snowy stiffy.
“They’re teenage boys,” she said of her son and his buddies. “There’s worse things they could be doing. It was innocent. And to be honest, knowing that it pissed people off gave us a little charge.”
This isn’t the time a snow penis has made headlines. Back in 2010, a Lafayette, Indiana couple had a really, um, hard time after they built one on their property. Police, who at first were quite amused by the sculpture, informed the couple that they could actually be arrested under the state’s obscenity laws. The snow penis was demolished, along with its creators’ freedom of expression.
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