Moral Low Ground


ANOTHER “Zombie” Attack: Staten Islander Thomas Tomasello Arrested for Biting Off Chunk of Victim’s Ear

The latest "zombie" (Photo: Staten Island Advance)

On the same day the US government issued a denial that the zombie apocalypse was upon us, yet another flesh-eating attack has been reported.

The New York Daily News reports that a dispute at a Staten Island diner ended in a brutal attack which left a man missing a chunk of his ear.

According to witnesses, Nicholas Cacace, a 35-year-old with a history of drug arrests, didn’t like the golden oldies station playing on the radio as he ate at  the Oakwood Diner on Amboy Road. So he changed the station to ESPN.  A fellow patron took offense and called her husband, 52-year-old pizzeria owner Thomas Tomasello, who soon arrived on the scene.

That’s when things really got ugly. Tomasello proceeded to whack Cacace upside the head with a souvenir Yankees baseball bat.

“He hit him with the bat about four to five times in the back of the head and back,” a witness told the Daily News. 

“Why are you using a bat?” Cacace asked. “You’re 20 years older than me! You need a bat?”

The brawling batsman did not take kindly to the taunt and stepped up his assault. The pair ended up rolling around on the ground as they tussled. That’s when Tomasello decided to go zombie– or Mike Tyson, if you will– and tore a chunk out of Cacace’s ear with his teeth.

“He chewed his ear – he must have been hungry,” one witness laughingly told the Daily News. “He must have been reading about that cannibal down in Miami or something.”

Mr. Witness was referring to Rudy Eugene, a naked, drug-crazed Miami man who was spotted snacking on the face of a hapless old man on a causeway offramp. When police arrived, Eugene was unresponsive and kept chewing his victim’s face off. Even a bullet failed to stop his feast; it took three shots to put the “zombie” down.

The very next day, 43-year-old Wayne Carter from Hackensack, New Jersey disemboweled himself and threw his own guts at police officers as they busted into his home. Two cans of pepper spray did nothing to stop Carter; a SWAT team had to be called in to subdue him.

Next came the most horrific news of the whole “zombie” wave: up in Montreal, a kitten-killing gay porn star named Luka Rocco Magnotta murdered a 33-year-old Chinese student named Lin Jun, beheaded him, cut him into pieces, sodomized the dead torso, ate pieces of his ass, fed some of that ass to a hungry dog and mailed the victim’s hand and foot to the headquarters of Canada’s two main political parties. Oh, and Magnotta filmed the whole grisly murder and its aftermath and posted it online.

You would think that things couldn’t get any worse after that. You’d be wrong, though. On Thursday, Maryland police arrested one Alexander Kinyua, who confessed to killing his roommate, cutting him into pieces, and eating his heart and– like any self-respecting zombie would do– his brains.

But back to Staten Island. Tomasello’s ear-eating stunt got him arrested and charged with felony assault. It’s not his first  run-in with the law; according to the Daily News, he’s been previously busted for patronizing a prostitute, violating an order of protection and criminal contempt.

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