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‘Spreading Romney’ Joins Santorum Sodomy Satire Atop Shitty Google Search Results

First it happened to Rick Santorum. You can’t be as rabidly homophobic as the former Pennsylvania senator as think no one’s going to retaliate; in his case that retaliation took the form of “Spreading Santorum,” a website that re-defined Rick’s name as “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.” Go ahead and Google “Santorum.” That definition, which is the bane of the GOP presidential hopeful’s online existence, is currently second from the top, just after the candidate’s Maine caucus results.

(Image: Chris Matthews Show)

Now go ahead and Google “Romney.” Soaring up Google’s search results (right now it’s coming up 5th on my computer) is the following definition: 1) to defecate in terror, 2) Mitt Romney. It turns out there’s now a “Spreading Romney” site that’s giving the front-runner the old Santorum treatment.

For those of you who have better things to do than to follow every minute detail of the 2012 Republican nomination race, the definition refers to a 1983 incident in which Romney strapped the family dog, an Irish Setter named Seamus, to the roof of his car on a road trip to Canada. The poor pooch pooped himself in sheer high-speed terror. According to the Boston Globe, Romney’s oldest son Tagg yelled “Gross!” as a brown liquid ran down the back window of the car.

“As the rest of the boys joined in the howls of disgust, Romney coolly pulled off the highway and into a service station,” the Globe article stated. “There, he borrowed a hose, washed down Seamus and the car, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business: emotion-free crisis management.”

The story has, um, dogged Romney for years, and according to The Raw Story, it could “play at least a minor role in the 2012 campaign” if Mitt wins his party’s nomination.

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