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‘Douche du Jour’: Store Clerk Anthony Garcia Indicted for Squirting Semen in Yogurt Sample and Feeding it to Female Customer

A New Mexico grocery store clerk finds himself in a sticky situation, facing years behind bars and hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines for allegedly ejaculating in a yogurt sample and feeding it to a female customer.

According to The Smoking Gun, 32-year-old Anthony Garcia, pictured here, was indicted on federal charges yesterday for the disgusting incident which happened in January of this year at  a Sunflower Farmer’s Market in Albuquerque. Local police investigating the crime turned the case over to federal authorities, and in addition to putting his semen in the yogurt, Garcia is also accused of lying to federal agents about it.

The police report regarding the incident says a “pushy” Garcia approached the victim while she was shopping with her daughter at the market and offered her a free yogurt sample. The woman immediately found it “gross and disgusting” and said it “tasted like semen.”

Laboratory tests confirmed that the spunky sample did indeed contain sperm; DNA testing of Garcia’s swimmers proved that he was the culprit.

If convicted of spooging in the woman’s yogurt, technically called ‘adulteration of food,’ Garcia could receive up to three years in prison. For lying to the feds, he could get up to five years. He could also be fined up to $500,000.

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6 Comments

  1. WakakoJuly 15, 2011 at 2:01 pmReply

    sick!!! bukkake yogurt.

    • Brett WilkinsJuly 15, 2011 at 2:46 pmReplyAuthor

      Actually, in order for it to be “bukkake yogurt,” some of Garcia’s co-workers would have had to jizz in the sample too.

    • Scott GJuly 15, 2011 at 5:05 pmReply

      Is that some sort of Japanese tradition???

  2. WakakoJuly 15, 2011 at 4:16 pmReply

    you are absolute correct. i guess its just a protein fortified yogurt. zygot flavored yogurt!

  3. Scott GJuly 15, 2011 at 5:04 pmReply

    She’s probably another b/witch female psychopath. How can you taste semen in yogurt? DNA can come ( cum?? ) from your fingers. or if you tasted it first with the spoon.

    I bet there’s more to this story.

    Then again, maybe she gave him a BJ, was embarrassed in front of her daughter, then spit it out !!

    SG for the defense !!! )'(

  4. Scott GJuly 15, 2011 at 5:07 pmReply

    Bukkake yogurt???? Hey…..great marketing for a new yogurt facial !!! We’ll make BILLIONS!!

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