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President Obama Releases Birth Certificate

President Obama has released his long-form birth certificate today.

Suck it, birthers. I bet you all feel really stupid right now. Yeah, you, Donald Trump. And half of Mississippi.

The document, which we’ll post below, proves the President was born exactly where he says he was, Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii, on August 4, 1961, at 7:24 PM.

It doesn’t say he’s a Muslim.

It doesn’t say his father is a Muslim.

It doesn’t say he’s Kenyan.

It doesn’t say he’s a Kenyan Muslim.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our President is just as qualified to hold such office as any other President before him. Now, just maybe birthers and other Tea Party types will let him get down to the daunting task of pulling our nation out of this economic mire and back into prosperity.

“We’ve got some enormous challenges out there,” Obama told reporters this morning. “I am confident that the American people and America’s political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems… But we aren’t going to be able to solve these problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.”

Mr. Trump, for his part, held his own news conference in which he boasted that he’d forced the President’s hand. “I’m very proud of myself because I accomplished something that nobody else was able to accomplish,” he said.

If I were President Obama, I would have waited for Trump’s (or any birther candidate’s) power to grow before embarrassing them with a mid-campaign release of the birth certificate. That would have made Trump look even more ridiculous than he does now, if that is possible.

Incredibly, USA Today reports that Trump is now attacking Obama’s academic credentials because “he read that Obama was a poor student.” The cocky real estate mogul now wants to know how the President got into Columbia University and Harvard Law School. His questions echo yesterday’s despicable assertion by far-right firebrand Pat Buchanan that Obama was only admitted to Harvard because he’s black.

Perhaps Obama’s decision was forced by shocking results of recent public opinion polls that show nearly a quarter of all Americans believe he was “probably or definitely” born in another country, with 43% of Republicans believing this nonsense– compared to only 35% of GOP voters who say he was born here.

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7 Comments

  1. Dawn MeierApril 27, 2011 at 4:33 pmReply

    Unfortunately, Obama’s birth certificate lists a hospital that apparently never existed. There was a medical facility listed in 1961 called Kauikeolani Children’s Hospital and another called Kapi’olani Maternity Home. The Kapi’olani Maternity Home and Kauikeolani Children’s Hospital joined in 1978 to become Kapi’olani Medical Center for Women & Children, now called Kapiolani Medical Center. This is off their own website. As far as I can tell from the medical center itself, there never was Kapi’olani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital.

  2. J SloanApril 28, 2011 at 12:19 amReply

    Sorry Kimby, check the addresses on both BCs. Hospital name’s the same, but different addresses. Also note that Kenya wasn’t a country in 1961, but a British colony (and should’ve been recorded properly on an official document)… FYI – I would 100% support and vote in a heartbeat for Allen West, JC Watts, Alan Keyes, Herman Cain… and NOT because of the color of their skin, but because of the content of their character and I AGREE with their policies (oh, and they happen to be constitutionally eligible for POTUS)!
    You want us to “see” color, you NEED us to… because you can’t keep or win support if you allow the debate to focus on the real issues (policies, law…).
    I don’t care what color or gender the POTUS is, as long as he/she is transparent/honest, respects and obeys the constitution with the founder’s intent, supports Israel, and defends our borders (abolishing the Fed and moving to a flat tax would be nice too)!
    Call me an evil Republican or Libertarian, call me a flag-flying free-thinking independent, call me a tea-bagger if you must… but don’t you DARE call me a racist!!!

    • Brett WilkinsApril 28, 2011 at 12:41 amReplyAuthor

      Has anyone called you a racist?

      • Graffn HokkestadtMay 24, 2011 at 2:23 amReply

        So anyone that questions whether he was born in the US or not must, by definition, be a racist?

        How come the green hash background go outside of the document on the birth certificate on the White house web site?
        Yes, this one isn’t the one on the White house web site, so there’s at least two different ones…

        • Brett WilkinsMay 24, 2011 at 7:19 amReplyAuthor

          Show me anywhere in that post where it says people who question Obama’s birthplace are racists? Idiots, for sure, but not necessarily racists.

          • Graffn HokkestadtMay 24, 2011 at 9:26 am

            OK, so people who don’t agree with out aren’t racists, but idiots. You know, ad hominem usually means that you lack any kind of real argument.

            What about the different birth certificates? Which of them is real? The one with the green hash background or the one without it

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