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Oklahoma Lawmakers Approve Life Imprisonment for Making Hashish

I am so glad I live in California. Here, if I so desire and obtain the proper doctor’s premission, I am allowed to grow, cultivate and consume up to 18 marijuana plants. I can compress and heat the glandular hairs from those plants, called “kief” in cannabis vernacular, to make hashish. I can then smoke that hash to my heart’s content. And it’s all perfectly legal under my state’s fabulously progressive medical marijuana laws.

Then there’s Oklahoma. Ah, Oklahoma! A state that actually passed a law that allows law enforcement officials to conceal evidence of hate crimes motivated by race or religion from federal authorities. A state which does not recognize crimes against sexual minorities as hate crimes. A state in which cooking hashish may soon result in spending the rest of your life behind bars.

That’s right, the good folks in the Oklahoma state legislature have approved a bill– House Bill 1798— that would make hash-making a felony and punish first-time offenders with a minimum mandatory sentence of two years in the slammer, and a maximum sentence of life imprisonment. Get convicted a second time, and your sentence will be doubled and you can kiss suspended sentences or parole goodbye.

Life in prison for processing a plant that has been used for medicinal purposes for nearly 5,000 years? Yup, Oklahoman lawmakers are one smart bunch. That’s why they overwhelmingly voted in favor of House Bill 1798; it passed the House by a vote of 75-18 and breezed through the Senate, 44-2. This, by the way, is the same House that voted to outlaw Shari’a law in a state where about 0.16% of the population is Muslim.

Mark Woodward, a spokesman for Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs (because marijuana is soooo dangerous), told the Associated Press that the bill should “send a message” that illegal drugs won’t be tolerated in the state.

Current marijuana laws in Oklahoma, a bastion of enlightenment on the high plains, must be too lenient. After all, when 25-year-old mother of four Patricia Spottedcrow and her 50-year-old mother Delita Starr sold $31 worth of marijuana to undercover cops, who obviously have nothing better to do in a state with a murder rate that is nearly 25% above the national average, the soft-on-drugs judge practically let the two women walk– they only got ten years each. Ten years for selling $31 worth of a plant.

Of course, House Bill 1798 must still be signed into law by Governor Mary Fallin. But she is a Republican. And she is an Oklahoman. And in this bumblefuck backwater, a state where you can still be fined $2,500 and locked up for a year for giving your boyfriend a blowjob, consider this a fait accompli.

Man, am I glad I live in California!

Hashish, among many other cannabis products, are sold legally at a medical marijuana dispensary in Los Angeles. Under a proposed Oklahoma law, the proprietor of this business could be jailed for life.

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9 Comments

  1. rmApril 27, 2011 at 4:27 pmReply

    Bumblefuck backwater? Wow. As someone who grew up in San Francisco but whose family is from Oklahoma, I can only say you’re a litte prick. Don’t denegrate an entire state because of antiquated laws. I’m not always proud of the political actions of my fellow Oklahomans but I’m never proud of yet another cowardly Californian giving their two cent bullshit opinion. Keep it to yourself. btw the 10 years I spent in San Francisco, I’ve never met a bigger bunch of pussy whiners in my entire life.

    • Brett WilkinsApril 27, 2011 at 4:31 pmReplyAuthor

      Please excuse my momentary loss of decorum. This is, after all, a blog, not a news site, and opinion makes up the bulk of blogging. I knew I might get shit for my “bumblefuck backwater” comment… but the people of Oklahoma voted for these leaders who now want to send someone to prison for life for something as harmless as marijuana, an ancient medicine that has helped millions of people alleviate their pain and suffering. What’s the bigger crime? Me calling names or lawmakers trying to lock people up for life for producing medicine?

    • Dame LuxureApril 30, 2011 at 7:19 pmReply

      OMG THANK YOU!!

    • drewSeptember 28, 2011 at 7:31 pmReply

      just another good reason to stay the hell out of Oklahoma not that you needed one

  2. mark pillowApril 28, 2011 at 4:30 amReply

    its not about Mary Jane. The perception is that Hash is the prefered form used by ARAB TERRORISTS and as an Oklahoman from near muskogee I’ll tell ya, we ain’t putt’in up with Hookahs surrounded by a bunch of TURBINE WINDERS! AT http://www.markmatter.com I’ve expounded on the medicinal use (wife has MS) endlessly, but our best shot at legalizing smoke is thru the AMERICAN INDIAN MOVEMENT and a buy American Grown penalty discount (vs. that imported stuff), literally if you proposed making it a misdemeanor if its MIO (MADE IN OKLAHOMA) YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE THAN USING THE MEDICAL FACTS. fyi

  3. Bud GreenApril 30, 2011 at 6:38 amReply

    Bumblefuck backwater is actually a correct description of a state that always ranks 45-50 in most every statistical category…

    Teen pregnancy rates
    Female incarceration
    Violent crime
    Education
    Divorce rates
    STD rates
    Low income single mother homes
    and more

    The legislature is more concerned with religious monuments and creationism.

    Look up Sally Kern, Randy Brogdon, Randy Terrill…all science hating creationists who claim that evolution is “only a theory”.

    Yes, Oklahoma is a bumblefuck backwater where the legislators place religious superstition above factual reality. Most of the state is an intellectual wasteland.

  4. CJMay 1, 2011 at 7:37 amReply

    lol@rm calling people whiners, but then getting all bent out of shape over a very-accurate description of a state that’s obviously stuck in the dark ages. People like rm have no problem when we say something like “Iran is a screwed up country stuck in the dark ages”, because obviously we aren’t referring to every single person who lives in Iran, just the type of society they strive to implement. But say the same thing about a state that he has family connections to and he, like most bumblefuck backwater people, gets upset and takes things personal as if the statement is talking about every single person who lives there. I’m from Florida, another bumblefuck backwater state, but not quite as bad as Oklahoma. See how easy that is…to not take things so personal and see things for what they really are?

  5. Winetaster24May 15, 2011 at 10:29 amReply

    I have only one criticism of this article. The names of the two Oklahoma state senators who had the courage and integrity to vote in favor of sanity and the United States Constitution were omitted. Thank you.

  6. William HilbertAugust 30, 2012 at 2:12 pmReply

    I live in Oklahoma city it sucks balls here. Its 30 years back in time and staying that way public transportation is a joke the wages suck the cops are dicks and mess with anyone who isn’t a shitkicker or a yuppie if you have a east coast accent and like to smoke a little bud beware. But we have hospitals out the ass here( for all the fat chicken fried fatties ) that will pump you full of dangerous addictive narcotics if you are in pain.

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