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‘Douche du Jour’: A Shitty Night in Staten Island

A Staten Island woman and her two children had a really shitty night last Sunday. She was the victim of what the New York papers are calling a “bizarre fecal rampage.”

According to Staten Island Live, 24-year-old Rasheen Harrison was so infuriated by the woman, who is his ex-girlfriend as well as the mother of his unborn child, that at around 5:30 a.m. he went to her apartment building, stripped naked inside the elevator, took a dump in the elevator, carried the excrement and his clothes to her door, wiped the feces all over her apartment door, then lit his clothes and the door on fire.

“I’m going to set your house on fire and [burn] this whole building down with you in it,” he allegedly screamed. “I’m the devil!”

The terrified pregnant woman, who was in her apartment with her two young children, couldn’t escape because she said the doorknob was too hot.

When police and firefighters arrived, they found Harrison naked, with the, um, evidence still smeared on his hands. The fecal fiend immediately confessed and was arrested and taken to a nearby police station, where he shat yet again for good measure. He’s being charged with second-degree arson, third- and fourth- degree criminal mischief, five counts each of second-degree reckless endangerment and third- degree menacing, and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child, according to Staten Island Live.

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