Moral Low Ground

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African Nation Set to Criminalize Farting

January 31, 2011 by Brett Wilkins in Africa, Crime & Punishment with 4 Comments

The little African nation of Malawi is causing a big stink over its plans to become  the first country in the world to outlaw public flatulence.

In an unprecedented bid to “mould responsible and disciplined citizens,” the government of this country of 15 million plans to punish those who “foul the air.”

According to Britain’s Daily Mail, the “crime” will be prosecuted in a new system of Local Courts that will have the authority to punish a wide range of other offenses currently being debated in parliament. Some of these include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging an enemy to a duel, trespassing on burial grounds, and pretending to be a fortune teller.

Malawians are understandably confused by the proposed public farting ban. After all, it can be quite difficult to pinpoint the source of the odoriferous emanations. Moral Low Ground has it on good authority that the “he who smelt it dealt it” rule is not currently in effect in Malawi, but we predict it could cause  courtroom chaos if Malawians catch wind of it.

“My goodness,” one concerned Malawian told the website Africanews.com.  “What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?”

According to the Daily Mail, another local noted: “We have serious issues affecting Malawians today. I do not know how fouling the air should take priority over regulating Chinese investments which do not employ locals, serious graft amongst legislators, especially those in the ruling party, and many more.”

But apparently the government, led by Dr. Bingu wa Mutharika, doesn’t think so. They’re moving ahead with their plans to outlaw big stinkers, no matter how much of a stink it causes.

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4 Comments

  1. SasFebruary 1, 2011 at 12:17 pmReply

    Another highly educated leader I see.

    • Moral Low GroundFebruary 1, 2011 at 2:24 pmReplyAuthor

      Hey, he’s got “Dr.” in front of his name!

  2. PeterApril 25, 2011 at 9:37 pmReply

    No wonder Africa is a third world country. i knew Africans spent money of frivolous things, but this takes the cake. Have fun digging yourself an inescapable hole, Africa.

    • Brett WilkinsApril 25, 2011 at 9:54 pmReplyAuthor

      Africans do indeed spend their money on frivolous things, if you consider things like food and shelter frivolous. But of course to generalize about “Africans,” who are four races of people, often living together, in 54 different countries, would be about as absurd as asserting that Africans in general spend money on frivolous things.

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